I don't have any energy these days and every night is the same. I can't sleep, or when I finally fall asleep I repeatedly wake up and have bad dreams. Regularly I dream that someone tries to rape me, I don't know where this comes from. Also, I don't know what to do to sleep, and get back my energy. Do anyone have some advice for me? I've tried different things. I have prayed, read Quran etc. but nothing seems to work. I don't want to take sleeping pills though.
My boyfriend will come today. Originally he was going to come on Wednesday, but in the airport they needed a paper about his military status, which he didn't possess, because the people in the consulate said he didn't need it, and since he is in college (and also has papers from his college), he shouldn't need the papers about the military. It's obvious that he doesn't have military service now! But the people in the airport didn't accept that, and gave him an address in Cairo to fix the paper. If he was quick, he could still catch the plane. He spent around 400 Egyptian pounds (around $66) on taxi to get that paper, but when he arrived they said that they needed the dates for his exams, and without this paper from the college he couldn't make the military paper. Thus, my boyfriend was prevented from taking the plane and he went disappointed and sad back to the bus, that uses 5 hours from Cairo to Alexandria. (Don't ask me how, it's supposed to only use like 2 or 2,5 hours).
He called his mother, and she went to the college to obtain this paper. Fortunately she had a copy of his ID card, and the day after my boyfriend went to the military to legalise the paper. For this he brought a policeman and a soldier, to make sure he would indeed get this paper. He spent all the day to fix this, in Egypt everything takes a lot of time and everyone says "make this, do that" before you reach the goal and finally get the papers you need. He also went to renew his flight ticket, which he had to pay another 1650 LE ($275) for, something that was not really his fault. First the consulate should have mentioned it, and second they should have told him at the travel agency when he bought the ticket.
Well, after all of this trouble (it has really been a long process to obtain the visa and fix all the required papers), he is finally in the airport now waiting for his plane that will depart at 10 am (GMT + 2). His transfer is in Copenhagen, Denmark and I will first go to the doctor today, and then I will go to the airport in Oslo to meet him. I can't wait. I've counted the days and been looking forward to this. Finally he will meet my family and spend time with them. Finally he will see my country and how we live in Norway. Finally he will experience snow, negative degrees, skiing, moose and trolls. Finally. Alhamdullilah. I pray that nothing bad will occur on his flights from Cairo - Copenhagen - Oslo, that the planes are not delayed, that the securities go smooth and that nobody will make any problem about his papers or belongings in any of the airports. InshaAllah. And I pray for the same for everyone else who is traveling today, whether it be by plane, ferry, train, bus or something else.
Thanks for reading my posts. Today I wrote a bit abnormal post, but I try to vary my writings. Any suggestions on what you want, let me know.
Jazakallahu khairan.
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Friday 28 January 2011
Thursday 27 January 2011
The Mystical Creatures Jinn Part 1
Today I wanted to write a post about Jinn. Many people are afraid to talk about Jinn - or even think about it! They believe just a thought will make the Jinn come after them, which is not true. A couple of months ago I had a period where I wanted to find more about these Jinns. It was a very interesting topic for me and I tried to do a lot of research. However, my boyfriend was not very happy about this because he has a friend that earlier had a Jinn inside him and they needed an imam to get him out of his friend, and it was a horrible sight. As he narrated to me, he was shaking and screaming. I'm not afraid because of such "horror" stories, although I know it's true what my boyfriend told me, and that it's possible to become obsessed with Jinn or Jinn enter your body. But it does not happen that frequently.
I learnt a lot about Jinn until I quit my research, to not make my boyfriend more upset or angry, and I also felt I had sufficient information about this. At the end I was always thinking about Jinn, wondering about how they lived, how they look like, I even dreamt about that a male Jinn was after me, loved me, and wanted to enter my body, I always told others about Jinn and I started to imagine bad things when I went to bed. I slept with my boyfriend's sister and one day I had fallen asleep she wanted to sleep in my bed beside me and I scream, because I thought it was Jinn. After this I finally realised enough is enough and I did my best to not think too much about Jinn. I succeeded, I didn't focus in it any more and now it has been a while where I have not been thinking about Jinn at all.
However, today I wanted to write a post about Jinn to enlighten more people about this topic. It's not really that dangerous, and Jinn is a part of Islam. It's a part of our deen, our religion, we can't simply just forget it. Yes, I agree, not everything we need to know much about, but it doesn't hurt to know something about Jinn and how they live, and to know that not all Jinn are bad.
Abu Tha'labah al-Khushani said the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "The Jinn are of three types: a types that has wings, and they fly through the air, a type that looks like snakes and dogs, and a type that stops for a rest then resumes its journey." [Al-Tahhaawi & Al-Tabaraani]
We can't deny the existence of Jinn. Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) said in the Quran: "He created man (Adam) from sounding clay like the clay of pottery. And the jinns did He create from a smokeless flame of fire." - Quran 55:151
Jinns are mainly made of fire and wind, whereas humans are mainly made of earth and water. Even though Iblis didn't prostrate before Adam, it doesn't mean all Jinns are evil or haughty. Iblis saw himself superior to Adam, because he thought fire was the strongest element, but due to his ignorance he didn't know he was wrong. Water is the strongest element as it can extinguish fire. The Jinns had lived on the earth a long time before Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) created human beings.
Never cry in the bathroom and never look too much in the mirror. It's when you are at your weakest point Jinn can enter you. When he or she first enters you, you will never be the same and you will not be Muslim again. It is, however, possible to get rid of it, with an imam and recitation of the Quran kareem and the azan, but it will be a horrible experience. With a Jinn inside you, you will get another personality and you will do things you never imagined you would do. However, the chance is tiny that you ever will be possessed by a Jinn.
If you are out in the desert or something and you need to do the call of nature, don't find a hole int he ground and make it. There can be Jinns living there and have their home there, and if you damage it, they can come after you and you will experience odd things happening around you. If you enter an abandoned house, there might be Jinns there. A lot of people think that if there is Jinn, you just say "bismillah ar-rahman ar-rahim" and maybe recite the Quran to rid it. But that's not the way. Actually its haram to do that. The Jinns living there can be Muslim Jinn, you are obliged to give them a chance to go peacefully. If you feel there is Jinn, you shall give them three days. Every day you warn them, that if they don't move out, you will recite the Quran and make them disappear. Good Jinn will leave during these days, but if the Jinns are still there after three days, it means it's shayateen (bad Jinn) and you can use the Quran to burn them.
Even if you find a snake or another animal in this house or place, don't kill it or hurt it. Actually it can be a part of a Jinn family. Jinns have the possibility that if they want, and with Allah's will, they can transform into animals such as snakes. I heard a shaykh tell a story that one day a man that had just married had gone praying in the mosque. When he returned he saw his wife outside. He was angry and asked her, why are you outside without my permission? I should divorce you. His wife asked him not to make such a thing until he saw what was inside the house. The man went inside and found a a big snake. He used something inside the house and killed the snake, right after the man died. The man had been killed by Jinn, because the snake was part of a Jinn family, and the family wanted revenge for the death. I just tell you to be cautious about this.
Prophet Muhammed (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "Some snakes are jinn, so when anyone sees one of them in his house, he should give it warning three times. It if returns (after that), he should kill it, for it's a devil." [Abu Dawood, narrated by Abu Sa'id al-Khudri]
And he said: "There are jinn in Madina who have become Muslim. When you see one of them, call out to it for three days. It it appears after that, then kill it, for it is a shaytan." [Al-Muwatta]
Also, if you eat something, then you should leave the bones, for Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) will put flesh on it again for the Jinns to eat. Prophet Muhammed (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "Don't cleanse yourself with dung or with bones for that is the food of your brothers from amongst the Jinn." [Tirmidhi, 350]
Jinns will also be judged for their deeds on the Day of Resurrection just like humans.
"And surely, We have created many of the jinns and mankind for Hell. They have hearts wherewith they understand not, they have eyes wherewith they see not, and they have ears wherewith they hear not (the truth). They are like cattle, nay even more astray, those! They are the heedless ones." - Quran 7:179
"And I (Allah) created not the jinns and humans except they should worship Me (Alone.)" - Quran 51:56
Jinn is an important creature just like us humans, but we should be careful not to follow the shayateen and disobey Allah (subhana wa ta'ala).
The topic will continue ...
I learnt a lot about Jinn until I quit my research, to not make my boyfriend more upset or angry, and I also felt I had sufficient information about this. At the end I was always thinking about Jinn, wondering about how they lived, how they look like, I even dreamt about that a male Jinn was after me, loved me, and wanted to enter my body, I always told others about Jinn and I started to imagine bad things when I went to bed. I slept with my boyfriend's sister and one day I had fallen asleep she wanted to sleep in my bed beside me and I scream, because I thought it was Jinn. After this I finally realised enough is enough and I did my best to not think too much about Jinn. I succeeded, I didn't focus in it any more and now it has been a while where I have not been thinking about Jinn at all.
However, today I wanted to write a post about Jinn to enlighten more people about this topic. It's not really that dangerous, and Jinn is a part of Islam. It's a part of our deen, our religion, we can't simply just forget it. Yes, I agree, not everything we need to know much about, but it doesn't hurt to know something about Jinn and how they live, and to know that not all Jinn are bad.
Abu Tha'labah al-Khushani said the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "The Jinn are of three types: a types that has wings, and they fly through the air, a type that looks like snakes and dogs, and a type that stops for a rest then resumes its journey." [Al-Tahhaawi & Al-Tabaraani]
We can't deny the existence of Jinn. Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) said in the Quran: "He created man (Adam) from sounding clay like the clay of pottery. And the jinns did He create from a smokeless flame of fire." - Quran 55:151
Jinns are mainly made of fire and wind, whereas humans are mainly made of earth and water. Even though Iblis didn't prostrate before Adam, it doesn't mean all Jinns are evil or haughty. Iblis saw himself superior to Adam, because he thought fire was the strongest element, but due to his ignorance he didn't know he was wrong. Water is the strongest element as it can extinguish fire. The Jinns had lived on the earth a long time before Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) created human beings.
"And indeed, We created man from sounding clay of altered black smooth mud.
And the jinn, We created aforetime from the smokeless flame of fire.
And (remember) when your Lord said to the angels: "I am going to create a man (Adam) from sounding clay of altered black smooth mud.
"So, when I have fashioned him completely and breathed into him (Adam) the soul which I created for him, then fall (you) down prostrating yourselves unto him."
So, the angels prostrated themselves, all of them together.
Except Iblîs (Satan), - he refused to be among the prostrators.
(Allâh) said: "O Iblîs (Satan)! What is your reason for not being among the prostrators?"
[Iblîs (Satan)] said: "I am not the one to prostrate myself to a human being, whom You created from sounding clay of altered black smooth mud."
(Allâh) said: "Then, get out from here, for verily, you are Rajîm (an outcast or a cursed one)." [Tafsîr At-Tabarî]
"And verily, the curse shall be upon you till the Day of Recompense (i.e. the Day of Resurrection)."
[Iblîs (Satan)] said: "O my Lord! Give me then respite till the Day they (the dead) will be resurrected."
Allâh said: "Then, verily, you are of those reprieved,
"Till the Day of the time appointed."
[Iblîs (Satan)] said: "O my Lord! Because you misled me, I shall indeed adorn the path of error for them (mankind) on the earth, and I shall mislead them all.
"Except Your chosen, (guided) slaves among them."
(Allâh) said: "This is the Way which will lead straight to Me."
"Certainly, you shall have no authority over My slaves, except those who follow you of the Ghâwîn (Mushrikûn and those who go astray, criminals, polytheists, and evil-doers, etc.). - Quran 15:26-42
Never cry in the bathroom and never look too much in the mirror. It's when you are at your weakest point Jinn can enter you. When he or she first enters you, you will never be the same and you will not be Muslim again. It is, however, possible to get rid of it, with an imam and recitation of the Quran kareem and the azan, but it will be a horrible experience. With a Jinn inside you, you will get another personality and you will do things you never imagined you would do. However, the chance is tiny that you ever will be possessed by a Jinn.
If you are out in the desert or something and you need to do the call of nature, don't find a hole int he ground and make it. There can be Jinns living there and have their home there, and if you damage it, they can come after you and you will experience odd things happening around you. If you enter an abandoned house, there might be Jinns there. A lot of people think that if there is Jinn, you just say "bismillah ar-rahman ar-rahim" and maybe recite the Quran to rid it. But that's not the way. Actually its haram to do that. The Jinns living there can be Muslim Jinn, you are obliged to give them a chance to go peacefully. If you feel there is Jinn, you shall give them three days. Every day you warn them, that if they don't move out, you will recite the Quran and make them disappear. Good Jinn will leave during these days, but if the Jinns are still there after three days, it means it's shayateen (bad Jinn) and you can use the Quran to burn them.
Even if you find a snake or another animal in this house or place, don't kill it or hurt it. Actually it can be a part of a Jinn family. Jinns have the possibility that if they want, and with Allah's will, they can transform into animals such as snakes. I heard a shaykh tell a story that one day a man that had just married had gone praying in the mosque. When he returned he saw his wife outside. He was angry and asked her, why are you outside without my permission? I should divorce you. His wife asked him not to make such a thing until he saw what was inside the house. The man went inside and found a a big snake. He used something inside the house and killed the snake, right after the man died. The man had been killed by Jinn, because the snake was part of a Jinn family, and the family wanted revenge for the death. I just tell you to be cautious about this.
Prophet Muhammed (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "Some snakes are jinn, so when anyone sees one of them in his house, he should give it warning three times. It if returns (after that), he should kill it, for it's a devil." [Abu Dawood, narrated by Abu Sa'id al-Khudri]
And he said: "There are jinn in Madina who have become Muslim. When you see one of them, call out to it for three days. It it appears after that, then kill it, for it is a shaytan." [Al-Muwatta]
Also, if you eat something, then you should leave the bones, for Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) will put flesh on it again for the Jinns to eat. Prophet Muhammed (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "Don't cleanse yourself with dung or with bones for that is the food of your brothers from amongst the Jinn." [Tirmidhi, 350]
Jinns will also be judged for their deeds on the Day of Resurrection just like humans.
"And surely, We have created many of the jinns and mankind for Hell. They have hearts wherewith they understand not, they have eyes wherewith they see not, and they have ears wherewith they hear not (the truth). They are like cattle, nay even more astray, those! They are the heedless ones." - Quran 7:179
"And I (Allah) created not the jinns and humans except they should worship Me (Alone.)" - Quran 51:56
Jinn is an important creature just like us humans, but we should be careful not to follow the shayateen and disobey Allah (subhana wa ta'ala).
The topic will continue ...
60 Ways To Win Your Husband's Love
Earlier I wrote a post about 60 ways to make your wife happy, now it's the other way around. All wives should try to follow these steps to preserve a happy marriage. What is important is good communication and respect, and that each part doesn't take the other for granted.
1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn't want a man for his wife!
2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don't stay in your sleeping suit all day.
3. Smell good!
4. Don't lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
5. Don't keep asking him, "what are you thinking?"
6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta'ala gives you something really to complain about.
7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:
8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.
9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights
10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.
11. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.
12. Compliment him on the things you know he's not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.
13. Tell him he's the best husband ever.
14. Call his family often.
15. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
16. When he's talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you're interested.
17. Encourage him to do good deeds.
18. If he's in a bad mood, give him some space. He'll get over it, inshaAllah.
19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It's a big deal.
20. If he's angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you're quiet.You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he's calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.
21. When you're mad at him, don't say "YOU make me furious", rather, "This action makes me upset". Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.
22. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.
23. Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they're good guys.
Encourage him to go out, so he doesn't feel "cooped up" at home.
24. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really
25. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.
26. Don't get mad over small things. It's not worth it.
27. Make jokes. If you're not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.
28. Tell him you're the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you're good at.
29. Learn to make his favorite dish.
30. Don't ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.
31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you're a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.
32. Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.
33. Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he's your servant. "They are garment to each other" [Surah Baqarah, 2:187]
34. Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha, radiallahu anha, narrated that the Prophet , salallahu alaihi wasalaam, used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like "a knot." And the next time he would ask her, "How is that knot?" He also used to reply to her saying, "Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you."
35. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.
36. Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.
37. Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don't laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.
38. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.
39. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.
40. Don't discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.
41. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
42. Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the "dough". It makes it easier for him to go to work.
43. Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.
44. Brush your hair, everyday.
45. Don't forget to do laundry.
46. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.
47. Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)
48. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies
49. Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.
50. Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.
51. Learn tricks and "techniques" to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)
52. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).
53. Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.
54. If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don't wait until matters become worse.
55. Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du'ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it.
56. Don't EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don't say, "well her husband doesn't do that, why do you …" (thats a killer!)
57. Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllah–and of course, vice versa!
58. Strive for Allah's love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Allah's love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.
59. If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time
sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn't take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel
60. Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.
1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn't want a man for his wife!
2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don't stay in your sleeping suit all day.
3. Smell good!
4. Don't lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
5. Don't keep asking him, "what are you thinking?"
6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta'ala gives you something really to complain about.
7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:
8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.
9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights
10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.
11. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.
12. Compliment him on the things you know he's not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.
13. Tell him he's the best husband ever.
14. Call his family often.
15. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
16. When he's talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you're interested.
17. Encourage him to do good deeds.
18. If he's in a bad mood, give him some space. He'll get over it, inshaAllah.
19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It's a big deal.
20. If he's angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you're quiet.You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he's calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.
21. When you're mad at him, don't say "YOU make me furious", rather, "This action makes me upset". Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.
22. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.
23. Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they're good guys.
Encourage him to go out, so he doesn't feel "cooped up" at home.
24. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really
25. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.
26. Don't get mad over small things. It's not worth it.
27. Make jokes. If you're not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.
28. Tell him you're the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you're good at.
29. Learn to make his favorite dish.
30. Don't ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.
31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you're a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.
32. Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.
33. Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he's your servant. "They are garment to each other" [Surah Baqarah, 2:187]
34. Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha, radiallahu anha, narrated that the Prophet , salallahu alaihi wasalaam, used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like "a knot." And the next time he would ask her, "How is that knot?" He also used to reply to her saying, "Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you."
35. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.
36. Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.
37. Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don't laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.
38. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.
39. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.
40. Don't discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.
41. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
42. Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the "dough". It makes it easier for him to go to work.
43. Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.
44. Brush your hair, everyday.
45. Don't forget to do laundry.
46. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.
47. Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)
48. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies
49. Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.
50. Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.
51. Learn tricks and "techniques" to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)
52. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).
53. Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.
54. If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don't wait until matters become worse.
55. Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du'ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it.
56. Don't EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don't say, "well her husband doesn't do that, why do you …" (thats a killer!)
57. Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllah–and of course, vice versa!
58. Strive for Allah's love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Allah's love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.
59. If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time
sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn't take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel
60. Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.
Tuesday 25 January 2011
Busy Days
I must apologise that these days I haven't been updating my blog a lot. I've had a lot of things to do and organise, and I've visited some family. I have cleaned and tided till my boyfriend comes, and I've planned trips for us. Also I have not been in a good health lately, I've been a bit ill and have slept little. I will see the doctor in Friday inshaAllah. I hope you can understand my condition, and I promise I will come back with more articles on Islam.
Monday 24 January 2011
Women's Rights In Islam Part 1
A very common topic in Islam is women's rights. Some people think women are inferior to men, and they think that the women don't have any rights in Islam nor any personality. They believe she needs to do everything what her father, brother or husband want, and that she can't express her opinion, or else she will be beaten or abused. Well, none of this is true, and Islam came with a great blessing for women. Before Islam, women were in the situation I explained, and they were treated like animals and couldn't own anything. Often female babies were buried because people thought getting a female was a sorrow for the world. However, with Islam all of this changed. The woman got many rights from Allah (subhana wa ta'ala); she could inherit, have her own property, express her opinion, be respected as a wife and mother and have her own personality. Islam was a reform for humankind.
Rights as a sister:
THE QURAN
"... if the man or woman whose inheritance is in question has left neither ascendants nor descendants, but has left a brother or sister, each one of the two gets a sixth; but if more than two, they share a third; after payment of legacies and debts; so that no loss is caused (to anyone). Thus is it ordained by Allah, and Allah is All-Knowing, Most-Forbearing" - Quran 4:12
AHADITH
Ibn Abbas reported that the Holy Prophet (sallalhu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "If one brings up three daughters or sisters, teaches them good manners and treats them kindly and lovingly till they no longer need his help, Allah will make paradise obligatory for him. One man said: What if he has two? He replied: And he also. Ibn Abbas said that if the people had enquired about one, the Prophet would have said the same thing." [Shariah Sunnah]
Rights as a daughter:
THE QURAN
"Allah thus directs you as regards your children's (inheritance): to the male, a portion equal that of two females: if only daughters, two or more, their share is two thirds of the inheritance, if only one, her share is half." - Quran 4:11
"When news is brought to one of them, of (the birth of) a female (child), his face darkens, and he is filled with inward grief! With shame does he hide himself from his people, because of the bad news he has had! Shall he retain it on (sufferance and) contempt, or bury it in the dust? Ah what an evil (choice) they decide on!" - Quran 16:58-59
AHADITH
'Aisha reported: "A woman came to me, while there were two of her daughters with her. She was begging of me, but found nothing from me except one date which I gave her. She divided it between her two daughters and she herself did take nothing of it. Then she got up and went away. The Holy Prophet came and I informed him (of it). He said: Whoever suffers for anything on account of these daughters and (still) treats them with kindness, they will be a shield for him from Hell. [Bukhari & Muslim]
Ibn Abbas reported that the Messenger of Allah said: "If anybody has got a female child, and then does neither bury her alive, nor treats her unjustly, nor prefers his male children to her, Allah will admit him in Paradise." [Abu Daud]
Rights as a wife:
THE QURAN
"Permitted to you, on the night of the feasts, is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and ye are their garments. Allah knoweth what ye used to do secretly among yourselves: But He turned to you and forgave you." - Quran 2:187
"And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable: but men have a degree (of advantage) over them. And Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise." - Quran 2:228
"And give the women (on marriage) their dower as a free gift, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it with right good cheer." - Quran 4:4
"O ye who believe! ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may take away part of the dower ye have given them, - except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike in them, it may be that ye dislike a thing that Allah brings about through it a great deal of good." - Quran 4:19
"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect." - Quran 30:21
"Let the women live (in 'iddat) in the same style as ye live, according to your means. Annoy them not, so as to restrict them. And if they carry (life in their wombs), then spend (your substance) on them until they deliver their burden: and if they suckle your (offspring), give them their recompenses: and take mutual counsel together, according to what is just and reasonable. And if ye find yourselves difficulties, let another woman suckle (the child) on the (father's) behalf." - Quran 65:6
AHADITH
Hakim-b Muawiyah from his father reported: "I asked: O Messenger of Allah! what right has the wife of one among us got over him? He said: it is that you shall give her food when you have taken your food, that you shall clothe her when you have clothed yourself, that you shall not slap her on the face, nor revile (her), nor leave (her) alone except within the house." [Ahmad & Abu Daud & Ibn Majah]
Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "The most perfect of the believers in faith is he who is the best of them in conduct, and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives." [Tirmizi, approved]
Anas reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "When a woman says her five (daily prayers) and fasts her month, and guards her private parts, and obeys her husband, let her enter Paradise by whichever door she likes." [Abu Nayeem in Hilya]
Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said:"Let no believing man hate a believing woman. If he hates one trait of her character, he shall be pleased with another that is within her." [Muslim]
"Nothing among the choicest blessings of this world is better than a virtuous wife." [Ibn Majah]
Rights as a mother:
THE QURAN
"Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: "My Lord! bestow on them Thy mercy even as they cherished me in childhood." - Quran 17:23-24
"(He) hath made me kind to my mother, and not overbearing or miserable." - Quran 19:32
"And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: In travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) goal." - Quran 31:14
AHADITH
Abu Hurairah reported that a man enquired: "O Apostle of Allah! who is the most proper person for my good association?" "Thy mother", replied he. Then he asked: "Who is next?" "Thy mother", he replied. Then he asked: "Who is next?" "Thy mother" he replied. He enquired: "Who is next?" "Thy father" [Bukhari & Muslim]
Mugirah reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "Allah made unlawful to you disobedience to mothers, burying alive of daughters, and refusing help. And he disliked for you frivolous gossips, frequent questions and squandering property." [Bukhari & Muslim]
Muawiyah-b-Ja'hemah reported that Ja'hemah came to the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam): "I intend to join a battle and have come to you for consultation." He enquired: "Have you got mother?" "Yes", he replied. He said: "Then keep near her, because Paradise is at her feet." [Ahmad & Nisai & Baihaqi]
Abu Hurairah reported: "A woman came to the Prophet and said: "My husband intends to go away with my son while he gave me water to drink and and gave me other benefit." The Prophet said: "This is your father and this is your mother. Take the hand of any of them you like." He took the hand of his mother and she went away with him." [Abu Daud & Nisai]
From this we see that women has a lot of rights in Islam, although sadly this is not what we see around the Muslim world today. Many women are deprived of their rights and value, but this is based on culture, not religion. Islam has provided women with many rights, and those who tries to take them away are doing wrong to themselves! Women should be respected throughout her life and she plays an important role in Islam. Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) created men and women to live together in this world and support each other and help each other on equal terms, although they have some different positions due to their biological and mental differences.
The topic will continue ...
Rights as a sister:
THE QURAN
"... if the man or woman whose inheritance is in question has left neither ascendants nor descendants, but has left a brother or sister, each one of the two gets a sixth; but if more than two, they share a third; after payment of legacies and debts; so that no loss is caused (to anyone). Thus is it ordained by Allah, and Allah is All-Knowing, Most-Forbearing" - Quran 4:12
AHADITH
Ibn Abbas reported that the Holy Prophet (sallalhu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "If one brings up three daughters or sisters, teaches them good manners and treats them kindly and lovingly till they no longer need his help, Allah will make paradise obligatory for him. One man said: What if he has two? He replied: And he also. Ibn Abbas said that if the people had enquired about one, the Prophet would have said the same thing." [Shariah Sunnah]
Rights as a daughter:
THE QURAN
"Allah thus directs you as regards your children's (inheritance): to the male, a portion equal that of two females: if only daughters, two or more, their share is two thirds of the inheritance, if only one, her share is half." - Quran 4:11
"When news is brought to one of them, of (the birth of) a female (child), his face darkens, and he is filled with inward grief! With shame does he hide himself from his people, because of the bad news he has had! Shall he retain it on (sufferance and) contempt, or bury it in the dust? Ah what an evil (choice) they decide on!" - Quran 16:58-59
AHADITH
'Aisha reported: "A woman came to me, while there were two of her daughters with her. She was begging of me, but found nothing from me except one date which I gave her. She divided it between her two daughters and she herself did take nothing of it. Then she got up and went away. The Holy Prophet came and I informed him (of it). He said: Whoever suffers for anything on account of these daughters and (still) treats them with kindness, they will be a shield for him from Hell. [Bukhari & Muslim]
Ibn Abbas reported that the Messenger of Allah said: "If anybody has got a female child, and then does neither bury her alive, nor treats her unjustly, nor prefers his male children to her, Allah will admit him in Paradise." [Abu Daud]
Rights as a wife:
THE QURAN
"Permitted to you, on the night of the feasts, is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and ye are their garments. Allah knoweth what ye used to do secretly among yourselves: But He turned to you and forgave you." - Quran 2:187
"And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable: but men have a degree (of advantage) over them. And Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise." - Quran 2:228
"And give the women (on marriage) their dower as a free gift, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it with right good cheer." - Quran 4:4
"O ye who believe! ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may take away part of the dower ye have given them, - except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike in them, it may be that ye dislike a thing that Allah brings about through it a great deal of good." - Quran 4:19
"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect." - Quran 30:21
"Let the women live (in 'iddat) in the same style as ye live, according to your means. Annoy them not, so as to restrict them. And if they carry (life in their wombs), then spend (your substance) on them until they deliver their burden: and if they suckle your (offspring), give them their recompenses: and take mutual counsel together, according to what is just and reasonable. And if ye find yourselves difficulties, let another woman suckle (the child) on the (father's) behalf." - Quran 65:6
AHADITH
Hakim-b Muawiyah from his father reported: "I asked: O Messenger of Allah! what right has the wife of one among us got over him? He said: it is that you shall give her food when you have taken your food, that you shall clothe her when you have clothed yourself, that you shall not slap her on the face, nor revile (her), nor leave (her) alone except within the house." [Ahmad & Abu Daud & Ibn Majah]
Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "The most perfect of the believers in faith is he who is the best of them in conduct, and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives." [Tirmizi, approved]
Anas reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "When a woman says her five (daily prayers) and fasts her month, and guards her private parts, and obeys her husband, let her enter Paradise by whichever door she likes." [Abu Nayeem in Hilya]
Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said:"Let no believing man hate a believing woman. If he hates one trait of her character, he shall be pleased with another that is within her." [Muslim]
"Nothing among the choicest blessings of this world is better than a virtuous wife." [Ibn Majah]
Rights as a mother:
THE QURAN
"Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: "My Lord! bestow on them Thy mercy even as they cherished me in childhood." - Quran 17:23-24
"(He) hath made me kind to my mother, and not overbearing or miserable." - Quran 19:32
"And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: In travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) goal." - Quran 31:14
AHADITH
Abu Hurairah reported that a man enquired: "O Apostle of Allah! who is the most proper person for my good association?" "Thy mother", replied he. Then he asked: "Who is next?" "Thy mother", he replied. Then he asked: "Who is next?" "Thy mother" he replied. He enquired: "Who is next?" "Thy father" [Bukhari & Muslim]
Mugirah reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "Allah made unlawful to you disobedience to mothers, burying alive of daughters, and refusing help. And he disliked for you frivolous gossips, frequent questions and squandering property." [Bukhari & Muslim]
Muawiyah-b-Ja'hemah reported that Ja'hemah came to the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam): "I intend to join a battle and have come to you for consultation." He enquired: "Have you got mother?" "Yes", he replied. He said: "Then keep near her, because Paradise is at her feet." [Ahmad & Nisai & Baihaqi]
Abu Hurairah reported: "A woman came to the Prophet and said: "My husband intends to go away with my son while he gave me water to drink and and gave me other benefit." The Prophet said: "This is your father and this is your mother. Take the hand of any of them you like." He took the hand of his mother and she went away with him." [Abu Daud & Nisai]
From this we see that women has a lot of rights in Islam, although sadly this is not what we see around the Muslim world today. Many women are deprived of their rights and value, but this is based on culture, not religion. Islam has provided women with many rights, and those who tries to take them away are doing wrong to themselves! Women should be respected throughout her life and she plays an important role in Islam. Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) created men and women to live together in this world and support each other and help each other on equal terms, although they have some different positions due to their biological and mental differences.
The topic will continue ...
Saturday 22 January 2011
Intentions
A beautiful thing in Islam is intentions. This is a mercy from Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) and something really great. A person is judged by his intentions. If his intentions were good, but something bad happened, he will be get reward, but if his intentions were bad he will be punished for it. It's important to keep your intentions pure.
Umar ibn al-Khattab said he heard Prophet Muhammed (sallalhu 'alayhe w sallam) say: "All actions are judged by motives, and each person will be rewarded according to their intention. Thus, he whose migration was to Allah and His Messenger, his migration to Allah and His Messenger; but he whose migration was for some worldly thing he might gain, or for a wife he might marry, his migration is to that for which he migrated." [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]
I think this is a very important part of Islam. Sometimes it can be hard to keep one's intentions clean, because all people suffer from jealousy, pride, selfishness and haughtiness to different extents. Some people just wants to be "seen", and do good deeds to make others think they are great in religion, but inside they only do this to achieve fame and their faith is not really strong.
"A person learnt (religious) knowledge and taught it (to others), as well as reciting the Quran. He will be brought (to the presence of Allah), and Allah will mention to him all the favours He granted him, and he recognised them. Allah will ask him "What did you do with them?"
He will answer: "I learnt (religious) knowledge and taught it (to others), and I recited the Quran purely for Your sake."
Allah will say: "You have lied! Rather you learnt (religious) knowledge to be called a scholar, and you recited the Quran to be called a recitor, and it was said of you!" Then it was commanded (to punish) him. So he was dragged on his face and he was thrown into the Fire." (an-Nasa'i)
I think this extract clearly expresses the importance of intentions. In everything a person does, he has intentions, whether he is aware of it or not. Try to always think before you do something, what you want to achieve by this or what your aim is, to not fall into the trap of committing evil.
"Helping a person or his belongings onto his mount is an act of charity. A good word is charity. Every step taken on the way to performing prayers is charity. Removing an obstacle from the road is charity." [Al-Bukhari]
"If he is working to support his small children, then it is for the sake of Allah. If he is working to support his elderly parents, then it is for the sake of Allah. If he is working to occupy himself and keep his desires in check, then it is for the sake of Allah. If, on the other hand, he is doing so to show off and earn fame, then he is working for the sake of Shaitan." [Al-Mundhiri & As-Suyuti]
All natural acts can be a form for charity with the right intentions. Sleeping, eating, drinking, talking with people etc. And you will be rewarded for it. The important is to avoid having a bad aim with what you are doing, because you will gain nothing from that. Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) will ask you about what you achieved in your life, and the reasons behind your achievement and what you wanted to gain from it.
Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) knows best.
Umar ibn al-Khattab said he heard Prophet Muhammed (sallalhu 'alayhe w sallam) say: "All actions are judged by motives, and each person will be rewarded according to their intention. Thus, he whose migration was to Allah and His Messenger, his migration to Allah and His Messenger; but he whose migration was for some worldly thing he might gain, or for a wife he might marry, his migration is to that for which he migrated." [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]
I think this is a very important part of Islam. Sometimes it can be hard to keep one's intentions clean, because all people suffer from jealousy, pride, selfishness and haughtiness to different extents. Some people just wants to be "seen", and do good deeds to make others think they are great in religion, but inside they only do this to achieve fame and their faith is not really strong.
"A person learnt (religious) knowledge and taught it (to others), as well as reciting the Quran. He will be brought (to the presence of Allah), and Allah will mention to him all the favours He granted him, and he recognised them. Allah will ask him "What did you do with them?"
He will answer: "I learnt (religious) knowledge and taught it (to others), and I recited the Quran purely for Your sake."
Allah will say: "You have lied! Rather you learnt (religious) knowledge to be called a scholar, and you recited the Quran to be called a recitor, and it was said of you!" Then it was commanded (to punish) him. So he was dragged on his face and he was thrown into the Fire." (an-Nasa'i)
I think this extract clearly expresses the importance of intentions. In everything a person does, he has intentions, whether he is aware of it or not. Try to always think before you do something, what you want to achieve by this or what your aim is, to not fall into the trap of committing evil.
"Helping a person or his belongings onto his mount is an act of charity. A good word is charity. Every step taken on the way to performing prayers is charity. Removing an obstacle from the road is charity." [Al-Bukhari]
"If he is working to support his small children, then it is for the sake of Allah. If he is working to support his elderly parents, then it is for the sake of Allah. If he is working to occupy himself and keep his desires in check, then it is for the sake of Allah. If, on the other hand, he is doing so to show off and earn fame, then he is working for the sake of Shaitan." [Al-Mundhiri & As-Suyuti]
All natural acts can be a form for charity with the right intentions. Sleeping, eating, drinking, talking with people etc. And you will be rewarded for it. The important is to avoid having a bad aim with what you are doing, because you will gain nothing from that. Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) will ask you about what you achieved in your life, and the reasons behind your achievement and what you wanted to gain from it.
Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) knows best.
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