Another Sleepless Night

I don't have any energy these days and every night is the same. I can't sleep, or when I finally fall asleep I repeatedly wake up and have bad dreams. Regularly I dream that someone tries to rape me, I don't know where this comes from. Also, I don't know what to do to sleep, and get back my energy. Do anyone have some advice for me? I've tried different things. I have prayed, read Quran etc. but nothing seems to work. I don't want to take sleeping pills though.

My boyfriend will come today. Originally he was going to come on Wednesday, but in the airport they needed a paper about his military status, which he didn't possess, because the people in the consulate said he didn't need it, and since he is in college (and also has papers from his college), he shouldn't need the papers about the military. It's obvious that he doesn't have military service now! But the people in the airport didn't accept that, and gave him an address in Cairo to fix the paper. If he was quick, he could still catch the plane. He spent around 400 Egyptian pounds (around $66) on taxi to get that paper, but when he arrived they said that they needed the dates for his exams, and without this paper from the college he couldn't make the military paper. Thus, my boyfriend was prevented from taking the plane and he went disappointed and sad back to the bus, that uses 5 hours from Cairo to Alexandria. (Don't ask me how, it's supposed to only use like 2 or 2,5 hours).

He called his mother, and she went to the college to obtain this paper. Fortunately she had a copy of his ID card, and the day after my boyfriend went to the military to legalise the paper. For this he brought a policeman and a soldier, to make sure he would indeed get this paper. He spent all the day to fix this, in Egypt everything takes a lot of time and everyone says "make this, do that" before you reach the goal and finally get the papers you need. He also went to renew his flight ticket, which he had to pay another 1650 LE ($275) for, something that was not really his fault. First the consulate should have mentioned it, and second they should have told him at the travel agency when he bought the ticket.

Well, after all of this trouble (it has really been a long process to obtain the visa and fix all the required papers), he is finally in the airport now waiting for his plane that will depart at 10 am (GMT + 2). His transfer is in Copenhagen, Denmark and I will first go to the doctor today, and then I will go to the airport in Oslo to meet him. I can't wait. I've counted the days and been looking forward to this. Finally he will meet my family and spend time with them. Finally he will see my country and how we live in Norway. Finally he will experience snow, negative degrees, skiing, moose and trolls. Finally. Alhamdullilah. I pray that nothing bad will occur on his flights from Cairo - Copenhagen - Oslo, that the planes are not delayed, that the securities go smooth and that nobody will make any problem about his papers or belongings in any of the airports. InshaAllah. And I pray for the same for everyone else who is traveling today, whether it be by plane, ferry, train, bus or something else.

Thanks for reading my posts. Today I wrote a bit abnormal post, but I try to vary my writings. Any suggestions on what you want, let me know.

Jazakallahu khairan.

The Mystical Creatures Jinn Part 1

Today I wanted to write a post about Jinn. Many people are afraid to talk about Jinn - or even think about it! They believe just a thought will make the Jinn come after them, which is not true. A couple of months ago I had a period where I wanted to find more about these Jinns. It was a very interesting topic for me and I tried to do a lot of research. However, my boyfriend was not very happy about this because he has a friend that earlier had a Jinn inside him and they needed an imam to get him out of his friend, and it was a horrible sight. As he narrated to me, he was shaking and screaming. I'm not afraid because of such "horror" stories, although I know it's true what my boyfriend told me, and that it's possible to become obsessed with Jinn or Jinn enter your body. But it does not happen that frequently.

I learnt a lot about Jinn until I quit my research, to not make my boyfriend more upset or angry, and I also felt I had sufficient information about this. At the end I was always thinking about Jinn, wondering about how they lived, how they look like, I even dreamt about that a male Jinn was after me, loved me, and wanted to enter my body, I always told others about Jinn and I started to imagine bad things when I went to bed. I slept with my boyfriend's sister and one day I had fallen asleep she wanted to sleep in my bed beside me and I scream, because I thought it was Jinn. After this I finally realised enough is enough and I did my best to not think too much about Jinn. I succeeded, I didn't focus in it any more and now it has been a while where I have not been thinking about Jinn at all.

However, today I wanted to write a post about Jinn to enlighten more people about this topic. It's not really that dangerous, and Jinn is a part of Islam. It's a part of our deen, our religion, we can't simply just forget it. Yes, I agree, not everything we need to know much about, but it doesn't hurt to know something about Jinn and how they live, and to know that not all Jinn are bad.

Abu Tha'labah al-Khushani said the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "The Jinn are of three types: a types that has wings, and they fly through the air, a type that looks like snakes and dogs, and a type that stops for a rest then resumes its journey." [Al-Tahhaawi & Al-Tabaraani]

We can't deny the existence of Jinn. Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) said in the Quran: "He created man (Adam) from sounding clay like the clay of pottery. And the jinns did He create from a smokeless flame of fire." - Quran 55:151

Jinns are mainly made of fire and wind, whereas humans are mainly made of earth and water. Even though Iblis didn't prostrate before Adam, it doesn't mean all Jinns are evil or haughty. Iblis saw himself superior to Adam, because he thought fire was the strongest element, but due to his ignorance he didn't know he was wrong. Water is the strongest element as it can extinguish fire. The Jinns had lived on the earth a long time before Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) created human beings.

"And indeed, We created man from sounding clay of altered black smooth mud.
And the jinn, We created aforetime from the smokeless flame of fire.
And (remember) when your Lord said to the angels: "I am going to create a man (Adam) from sounding clay of altered black smooth mud.
"So, when I have fashioned him completely and breathed into him (Adam) the soul which I created for him, then fall (you) down prostrating yourselves unto him."
So, the angels prostrated themselves, all of them together.
Except Iblîs (Satan), - he refused to be among the prostrators.
(Allâh) said: "O Iblîs (Satan)! What is your reason for not being among the prostrators?"
[Iblîs (Satan)] said: "I am not the one to prostrate myself to a human being, whom You created from sounding clay of altered black smooth mud."
(Allâh) said: "Then, get out from here, for verily, you are Rajîm (an outcast or a cursed one)." [Tafsîr At-Tabarî]
"And verily, the curse shall be upon you till the Day of Recompense (i.e. the Day of Resurrection)."
[Iblîs (Satan)] said: "O my Lord! Give me then respite till the Day they (the dead) will be resurrected."Allâh said: "Then, verily, you are of those reprieved,
"Till the Day of the time appointed."
[Iblîs (Satan)] said: "O my Lord! Because you misled me, I shall indeed adorn the path of error for them (mankind) on the earth, and I shall mislead them all.
"Except Your chosen, (guided) slaves among them."
(Allâh) said: "This is the Way which will lead straight to Me."
"Certainly, you shall have no authority over My slaves, except those who follow you of the Ghâwîn (Mushrikûn and those who go astray, criminals, polytheists, and evil-doers, etc.). - Quran 15:26-42

Just like there is all kind of different humans, there are all kinds of different Jinns. You have good and bad Jinn, generous and greedy Jinn, Muslim Jinn, Christian Jinn, other religious Jinn, non-religious Jinn and the Shayateen. Those who disobey Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) and it's these Jinns that mostly enter human bodies. Other Jinn can also do it, if they e.g. are in love with a human, but it doesn't occur that often. Jinn can see us, but we can't see them. They live with us, but yet they have their own "world." If you go to abandoned places you should be careful, because Jinn might live there. Good Jinns don't enter houses where people already are living, they go to find their own place, but bad Jinn can enter houses inhabited by people, especially if these people are non-religious or weak in religion.

Never cry in the bathroom and never look too much in the mirror. It's when you are at your weakest point Jinn can enter you. When he or she first enters you, you will never be the same and you will not be Muslim again. It is, however, possible to get rid of it, with an imam and recitation of the Quran kareem and the azan, but it will be a horrible experience. With a Jinn inside you, you will get another personality and you will do things you never imagined you would do. However, the chance is tiny that you ever will be possessed by a Jinn.

If you are out in the desert or something and you need to do the call of nature, don't find a hole int he ground and make it. There can be Jinns living there and have their home there, and if you damage it, they can come after you and you will experience odd things happening around you. If you enter an abandoned house, there might be Jinns there. A lot of people think that if there is Jinn, you just say "bismillah ar-rahman ar-rahim" and maybe recite the Quran to rid it. But that's not the way. Actually its haram to do that. The Jinns living there can be Muslim Jinn, you are obliged to give them a chance to go peacefully. If you feel there is Jinn, you shall give them three days. Every day you warn them, that if they don't move out, you will recite the Quran and make them disappear. Good Jinn will leave during these days, but if the Jinns are still there after three days, it means it's shayateen (bad Jinn) and you can use the Quran to burn them.

Even if you find a snake or another animal in this house or place, don't kill it or hurt it. Actually it can be a part of a Jinn family. Jinns have the possibility that if they want, and with Allah's will, they can transform into animals such as snakes. I heard a shaykh tell a story that one day a man that had just married had gone praying in the mosque. When he returned he saw his wife outside. He was angry and asked her, why are you outside without my permission? I should divorce you. His wife asked him not to make such a thing until he saw what was inside the house. The man went inside and found a a big snake. He used something inside the house and killed the snake, right after the man died. The man had been killed by Jinn, because the snake was part of a Jinn family, and the family wanted revenge for the death. I just tell you to be cautious about this.

Prophet Muhammed (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "Some snakes are jinn, so when anyone sees one of them in his house, he should give it warning three times. It if returns (after that), he should kill it, for it's a devil." [Abu Dawood, narrated by Abu Sa'id al-Khudri]

And he said: "There are jinn in Madina who have become Muslim. When you see one of them, call out to it for three days. It it appears after that, then kill it, for it is a shaytan." [Al-Muwatta]

Also, if you eat something, then you should leave the bones, for Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) will put flesh on it again for the Jinns to eat. Prophet Muhammed (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "Don't cleanse yourself with dung or with bones for that is the food of your brothers from amongst the Jinn." [Tirmidhi, 350]

Jinns will also be judged for their deeds on the Day of Resurrection just like humans.

"And surely, We have created many of the jinns and mankind for Hell. They have hearts wherewith they understand not, they have eyes wherewith they see not, and they have ears wherewith they hear not (the truth). They are like cattle, nay even more astray, those! They are the heedless ones." - Quran 7:179

"And I (Allah) created not the jinns and humans except they should worship Me (Alone.)" - Quran 51:56

Jinn is an important creature just like us humans, but we should be careful not to follow the shayateen and disobey Allah (subhana wa ta'ala).

The topic will continue ...

60 Ways To Win Your Husband's Love

Earlier I wrote a post about 60 ways to make your wife happy, now it's the other way around. All wives should try to follow these steps to preserve a happy marriage. What is important is good communication and respect, and that each part doesn't take the other for granted.

1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn't want a man for his wife!

2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don't stay in your sleeping suit all day.

3. Smell good!

4. Don't lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.

5. Don't keep asking him, "what are you thinking?"

6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta'ala gives you something really to complain about.

7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:

8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.

9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights

10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.

11. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.

12. Compliment him on the things you know he's not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.

13. Tell him he's the best husband ever.

14. Call his family often.

15. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.

16. When he's talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you're interested.

17. Encourage him to do good deeds.

18. If he's in a bad mood, give him some space. He'll get over it, inshaAllah.

19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It's a big deal.

20. If he's angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you're quiet.You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he's calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.

21. When you're mad at him, don't say "YOU make me furious", rather, "This action makes me upset". Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.

22. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.

23. Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they're good guys.
Encourage him to go out, so he doesn't feel "cooped up" at home.

24. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really

25. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.

26. Don't get mad over small things. It's not worth it.

27. Make jokes. If you're not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.

28. Tell him you're the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you're good at.

29. Learn to make his favorite dish.

30. Don't ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.

31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you're a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.

32. Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.

33. Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he's your servant. "They are garment to each other" [Surah Baqarah, 2:187]

34. Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha, radiallahu anha, narrated that the Prophet , salallahu alaihi wasalaam, used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like "a knot." And the next time he would ask her, "How is that knot?" He also used to reply to her saying, "Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you."

35. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.

36. Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.

37. Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don't laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.

38. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.

39. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.

40. Don't discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.

41. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

42. Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the "dough". It makes it easier for him to go to work.

43. Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.

44. Brush your hair, everyday.

45. Don't forget to do laundry.

46. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.

47. Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)

48. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies

49. Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.

50. Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.

51. Learn tricks and "techniques" to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)

52. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).

53. Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.

54. If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don't wait until matters become worse.

55. Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du'ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it.

56. Don't EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don't say, "well her husband doesn't do that, why do you …" (thats a killer!)

57. Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllah–and of course, vice versa!

58. Strive for Allah's love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Allah's love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.

59. If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time
sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn't take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel

60. Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.

Busy Days

I must apologise that these days I haven't been updating my blog a lot. I've had a lot of things to do and organise, and I've visited some family. I have cleaned and tided till my boyfriend comes, and I've planned trips for us. Also I have not been in a good health lately, I've been a bit ill and have slept little. I will see the doctor in Friday inshaAllah. I hope you can understand my condition, and I promise I will come back with more articles on Islam.

Women's Rights In Islam Part 1

A very common topic in Islam is women's rights. Some people think women are inferior to men, and they think that the women don't have any rights in Islam nor any personality. They believe she needs to do everything what her father, brother or husband want, and that she can't express her opinion, or else she will be beaten or abused. Well, none of this is true, and Islam came with a great blessing for women. Before Islam, women were in the situation I explained, and they were treated like animals and couldn't own anything. Often female babies were buried because people thought getting a female was a sorrow for the world. However, with Islam all of this changed. The woman got many rights from Allah (subhana wa ta'ala); she could inherit, have her own property, express her opinion, be respected as a wife and mother and have her own personality. Islam was a reform for humankind.

Rights as a sister:

THE QURAN

"... if the man or woman whose inheritance is in question has left neither ascendants nor descendants, but has left a brother or sister, each one of the two gets a sixth; but if more than two, they share a third; after payment of legacies and debts; so that no loss is caused (to anyone). Thus is it ordained by Allah, and Allah is All-Knowing, Most-Forbearing" - Quran 4:12


AHADITH

Ibn Abbas reported that the Holy Prophet (sallalhu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "If one brings up three daughters or sisters, teaches them good manners and treats them kindly and lovingly till they no longer need his help, Allah will make paradise obligatory for him. One man said: What if he has two? He replied: And he also. Ibn Abbas said that if the people had enquired about one, the Prophet would have said the same thing." [Shariah Sunnah]


Rights as a daughter:

THE QURAN

"Allah thus directs you as regards your children's (inheritance): to the male, a portion equal that of two females: if only daughters, two or more, their share is two thirds of the inheritance, if only one, her share is half." - Quran 4:11

"When news is brought to one of them, of (the birth of) a female (child), his face darkens, and he is filled with inward grief! With shame does he hide himself from his people, because of the bad news he has had! Shall he retain it on (sufferance and) contempt, or bury it in the dust? Ah what an evil (choice) they decide on!" - Quran 16:58-59


AHADITH

'Aisha reported: "A woman came to me, while there were two of her daughters with her. She was begging of me, but found nothing from me except one date which I gave her. She divided it between her two daughters and she herself did take nothing of it. Then she got up and went away. The Holy Prophet came and I informed him (of it). He said: Whoever suffers for anything on account of these daughters and (still) treats them with kindness, they will be a shield for him from Hell. [Bukhari & Muslim]

Ibn Abbas reported that the Messenger of Allah said: "If anybody has got a female child, and then does neither bury her alive, nor treats her unjustly, nor prefers his male children to her, Allah will admit him in Paradise." [Abu Daud]


Rights as a wife:

THE QURAN

"Permitted to you, on the night of the feasts, is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and ye are their garments. Allah knoweth what ye used to do secretly among yourselves: But He turned to you and forgave you." - Quran 2:187

"And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable: but men have a degree (of advantage) over them. And Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise." - Quran 2:228

"And give the women (on marriage) their dower as a free gift, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it with right good cheer." - Quran 4:4

"O ye who believe! ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may take away part of the dower ye have given them, - except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike in them, it may be that ye dislike a thing that Allah brings about through it a great deal of good." - Quran 4:19

"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect." - Quran 30:21

"Let the women live (in 'iddat) in the same style as ye live, according to your means. Annoy them not, so as to restrict them. And if they carry (life in their wombs), then spend (your substance) on them until they deliver their burden: and if they suckle your (offspring), give them their recompenses: and take mutual counsel together, according to what is just and reasonable. And if ye find yourselves difficulties, let another woman suckle (the child) on the (father's) behalf." - Quran 65:6


AHADITH

Hakim-b Muawiyah from his father reported: "I asked: O Messenger of Allah! what right has the wife of one among us got over him? He said: it is that you shall give her food when you have taken your food, that you shall clothe her when you have clothed yourself, that you shall not slap her on the face, nor revile (her), nor leave (her) alone except within the house." [Ahmad & Abu Daud & Ibn Majah]

Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "The most perfect of the believers in faith is he who is the best of them in conduct, and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives." [Tirmizi, approved]

Anas reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "When a woman says her five (daily prayers) and fasts her month, and guards her private parts, and obeys her husband, let her enter Paradise by whichever door she likes." [Abu Nayeem in Hilya]

Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said:"Let no believing man hate a believing woman. If he hates one trait of her character, he shall be pleased with another that is within her." [Muslim]

"Nothing among the choicest blessings of this world is better than a virtuous wife." [Ibn Majah]


Rights as a mother:

THE QURAN

"Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: "My Lord! bestow on them Thy mercy even as they cherished me in childhood." - Quran 17:23-24

"(He) hath made me kind to my mother, and not overbearing or miserable." - Quran 19:32

"And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: In travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) goal." - Quran 31:14


AHADITH

Abu Hurairah reported that a man enquired: "O Apostle of Allah! who is the most proper person for my good association?" "Thy mother", replied he. Then he asked: "Who is next?" "Thy mother", he replied. Then he asked: "Who is next?" "Thy mother" he replied. He enquired: "Who is next?" "Thy father" [Bukhari & Muslim]

Mugirah reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "Allah made unlawful to you disobedience to mothers, burying alive of daughters, and refusing help. And he disliked for you frivolous gossips, frequent questions and squandering property." [Bukhari & Muslim]

Muawiyah-b-Ja'hemah reported that Ja'hemah came to the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam): "I intend to join a battle and have come to you for consultation." He enquired: "Have you got mother?" "Yes", he replied. He said: "Then keep near her, because Paradise is at her feet." [Ahmad & Nisai & Baihaqi]

Abu Hurairah reported: "A woman came to the Prophet and said: "My husband intends to go away with my son while he gave me water to drink and and gave me other benefit." The Prophet said: "This is your father and this is your mother. Take the hand of any of them you like." He took the hand of his mother and she went away with him." [Abu Daud & Nisai]


From this we see that women has a lot of rights in Islam, although sadly this is not what we see around the Muslim world today. Many women are deprived of their rights and value, but this is based on culture, not religion. Islam has provided women with many rights, and those who tries to take them away are doing wrong to themselves! Women should be respected throughout her life and she plays an important role in Islam. Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) created men and women to live together in this world and support each other and help each other on equal terms, although they have some different positions due to their biological and mental differences.

The topic will continue ...

Intentions

A beautiful thing in Islam is intentions. This is a mercy from Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) and something really great. A person is judged by his intentions. If his intentions were good, but something bad happened, he will be get reward, but if his intentions were bad he will be punished for it. It's important to keep your intentions pure.

Umar ibn al-Khattab said he heard Prophet Muhammed (sallalhu 'alayhe w sallam) say: "All actions are judged by motives, and each person will be rewarded according to their intention. Thus, he whose migration was to Allah and His Messenger, his migration to Allah and His Messenger; but he whose migration was for some worldly thing he might gain, or for a wife he might marry, his migration is to that for which he migrated." [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

I think this is a very important part of Islam. Sometimes it can be hard to keep one's intentions clean, because all people suffer from jealousy, pride, selfishness and haughtiness to different extents. Some people just wants to be "seen", and do good deeds to make others think they are great in religion, but inside they only do this to achieve fame and their faith is not really strong.

"A person learnt (religious) knowledge and taught it (to others), as well as reciting the Quran. He will be brought (to the presence of Allah), and Allah will mention to him all the favours He granted him, and he recognised them. Allah will ask him "What did you do with them?"

He will answer: "I learnt (religious) knowledge and taught it (to others), and I recited the Quran purely for Your sake."

Allah will say: "You have lied! Rather you learnt (religious) knowledge to be called a scholar, and you recited the Quran to be called a recitor, and it was said of you!" Then it was commanded (to punish) him. So he was dragged on his face and he was thrown into the Fire." (an-Nasa'i)

I think this extract clearly expresses the importance of intentions. In everything a person does, he has intentions, whether he is aware of it or not. Try to always think before you do something, what you want to achieve by this or what your aim is, to not fall into the trap of committing evil.

"Helping a person or his belongings onto his mount is an act of charity. A good word is charity. Every step taken on the way to performing prayers is charity. Removing an obstacle from the road is charity." [Al-Bukhari]

"If he is working to support his small children, then it is for the sake of Allah. If he is working to support his elderly parents, then it is for the sake of Allah. If he is working to occupy himself and keep his desires in check, then it is for the sake of Allah. If, on the other hand, he is doing so to show off and earn fame, then he is working for the sake of Shaitan." [Al-Mundhiri & As-Suyuti]

All natural acts can be a form for charity with the right intentions. Sleeping, eating, drinking, talking with people etc. And you will be rewarded for it. The important is to avoid having a bad aim with what you are doing, because you will gain nothing from that. Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) will ask you about what you achieved in your life, and the reasons behind your achievement and what you wanted to gain from it.

Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) knows best.

The Beauty of Islam

Today I'll try to take another approach in my post. Writing in the same style all the time might become boring in the long run, I'll try to keep it more varied inshaAllah. In an earlier post I mentioned that Islam is a beautiful religion, but what do I think is so wonderful?

First, Islam is not just a religion. It's a deen. It's a way of life. It regulates all areas of your life, from economics, having children, dressing, marriage, family, laws, politics etc, and all questions a person might have can be answered using sources from the Quran and ahadith. Sometimes the answers are not clear, or they are divided in opinion, but at least you can find some sort of guidance and general advice.

Islam promotes morality, dignity and modesty. By abiding the rules you become a better person, first from the inside, and then it will be expressed on the outside. If you look for guidance you will find. Islam gives you rights and obligations, it's impressive how Islam gave women rights long before the West and secular world. It gave women rights to inherit, vote, witness, have her own identity, have her own property etc. It's wonderful to see how Islam equals men and women, and how their rights and responsibilities fulfill each other. If practiced in the right way, Islam brings harmony and tranquility.

It helps you to lead a dignified life, and have made rules for interaction with other people. It gives all the family members different rights, and was created to ensure a stable family life. Islam has laid down principles for all areas of life, and by following them will eventually lead you to Jannah inshaAllah.

I will wrie more about this later, but today I'm so tired. I have a lot of things to organise and do before my boyfriend will come to Norway, and also my sleeping patterns have been very bad lately. I simply cannot sleep, and when I finally sleep I just sleep a little time and have bad dreams. InshaAllah it will become better.

Homosexuality in Islam

Today I'm going to deal with a issue few people like to talk about, or even think of. Muslims I've talked to despise this topics and they don't want to hear a word of it, whilst they who are homosexuals try to hide their practice, at least in Muslim countries. They might be executed if someone knows. However, ignoring an issue doesn't make the problems disappear. I'm not afraid to talk about this topic, and I'm not afraid to express my view. However, it's difficult for me to give advice to anyone experiencing this, because I'm not fully aware of how they became homosexuals. I mean, how they grew up, what they want to achieve from this, how they feel etc. Some people only wants "excitement", while others might have fallen deeper and really loves a person from the same sex.

So, what does Islam say about homosexuality?
To make it short it's haram. Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) created mankind to multiply and have families, if people from the same sex marry, they can't have children. I'm fully aware that technology has advanced immensely over the past years, and that now you can make and have children in different ways, but that's not the natural way. It's not the way Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) meant it to be.

The Quran says: "What! Do you come to the males from among the creatures, and leave what your Lord has created for you of your wives? Nay, you are a people exceeding limits." - Quran 26:165

And: "And (We) sent Lut when he said to his people: What! Do you commit an indecency which any one in the world has not done before you? Most surely you come to males in lust besides females, nay you are an extravagant people." - Quran 7:80

In the hadith we find that the Prophet (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "Kill the one who sodomizes and the one who lets it be done to him." [Sahih Tirmidhi]

"May Allah curse him who does what Lot's people did." [Sahih Ibn Habban]

"Lesbianism by women is adultery between them." [Sahih Tabarani]

The sinful with homosexuality is the actual sexual act between two people of the same sex. If someone has the desires but suppresses them, and doesn't act upon them, he is not sinning if he only has feelings for someone of the same sex. If you have these feelings you shouldn't give up or commit suicide, which is common for homosexuals because of the severe laws within their country (especially Arab countries.) An unlawful act followed by another unlawful act doesn't make it lawful. The best to do it to ask Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) sincerely for help and inshaAllah He will help you.

You aren't really Muslim if you commit homosexual acts. Why? Simply because Islam means submission to the will of Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) and it's explicitly stated in the Quran that homosexuality is illegal.

"What! Do you indeed approach men lustfully rather than women? Nay, you are a people who act ignorantly." - Quran 27:55

From the hadith: Prophet Muhammed (sallalhu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "A man should not look at the private parts of another man, and a woman should not look at the private parts of another woman. A man should not lie with another man without wearing lower garment under one cover, and a woman should not lie with another woman without wearing lower garment under one cover." [Abu Dawood, narrated by Abu Sa'id al-Khudri]

If a person is homosexual he should do his best to change this. I know that it can be hard, although I never experienced this myself. The important is that the person conceals this and wants to change it from the inside, then Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) will be there to help you, and inshaAllah give you reward for your tries and suppressing your desires. The person should also later marry someone from the opposite sex and try to start a family, it might turn his/her thoughts away from homosexuality. However, this doesn't work for everyone, but we can't force anyone. Everyone has his own business with Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) and everyone will be individually judged. If someone simply doesn't want to listen, it will be on his account. I encourage everyone to sincerely try to change it if they are attracted to the same sex.

Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) knows best.

Knowledge About Islam

Acquiring knowledge about Islam is very important for every Muslim. All Muslims are obliged to search knowledge and act thereafter. The important, however, is that people gain real knowledge, and do not confuse religion with culture or tradition. Don't look around watching what other Muslims do, they may only be Muslim by name. To find the truth, search in the Quran and ahadith, and learn about the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammed (sallalhu 'alayhe wa sallam).

I just want to inform you that I've started a course at the Islamic Online University. A course in 'aqeedah (the foundations of islamic studies), so some of my time will be spent on that, meaning that sometimes I might not update my blog as much as before, but I'll update as often as possible. I've also decided to apply for the BA degree in Islamic Studies at this Online University, and hopefully Ill be accepted for the upcoming semester starting in March inshaAllah.

After I wake up I'll write a new informative article about Islam, enough about me for now.
Thank you all for following my blog, and stay tuned! There is more to come and if you have any suggestions, let me know, or give the link for my blog to your friends and acquaintances if you wish.

Jazakallahu khairan!

Dress Code For Men And Women

Dress code is very important in Islam to be recognised as a Muslim, and to be modest and not draw a lot of attention from the opposite sex. There is very much focus on the dress code of women, and I seldom hear how men should dress. Both are important. Perhaps the rules for women are a bit stricter to protect them from harassment, but the men can't ignore their duty either, and the clothes one choose to wear should be worn with dignity.

DRESS CODE FOR MEN

Men are not allowed to wear silk and gold, based on the hadith stating that Prophet Muhammed (sallalahu 'alayhe wa salam) said: "Gold and silk are forbidden for the males of my ummah and permissible for the females." [Saheeh Ibn Maajah 3640]

Another thing that is forbidden is the wearing of skin of dead animals, unless it has been tanned. The clothes of men cannot be thin or see-through clothing, that doesn't conceal the 'awrah and it's haraam to imitate the kuffar in the way of dressing. These are the most important points of a male dress.

Another point of men's appearance is based on this hadith: "Trim the moustache and save the beard." [Bukhari & Muslim]

A man shouldn't wear garments hanging beneath his ankles. In the hadith we find: "Whatever of the lower garment is beneath the ankles is in the Fire." [Al-Bukhari, 5450, narrated by Abu Hurayrah]

And: ""There are three to whom Allah will not speak to on the Day of Resurrection and will not look at them or praise them, and theirs will be a painful torment." The Messenger of Allah (sallalhu 'alayhe wa sallam) repeated it three times. Abu Dharr said: "May they be doomed and lost; who are they, O Messenger of Allah?" He said: "The one who let his garment hang beneath his ankles, the one who reminds others of a favour he has done, and the one who sells his product by means of false oaths."" [Muslim, 106, narrated by Abu Dharr]

The Prophet (sallalhu 'alayhe wa sallam) also forbade men to wear saffron.

The 'awrah of a man is generally accepted to be the area between the navel and the knees. Most scholars classifies this hadith as saheeh: 'Ali narrated that the Messenger of Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) said "Do not show your thigh, and do not look at the thigh of anyone, living or dead." [Narrated by Abu Dawood and Ibn Majaah]

How many men actually follows this today? Most men don't think about their own clothing, and they are too focused in how their Muslims sisters dress. Dressing is an individual responsibility, and a person should look at himself first, and dress properly according to Islam, before he looks at how other people dress. We will all be judged for our actions, a man can't simply ignore the requirements for his own dress. He should at least cover the area between the navel and the knees, but in the presence of non-mahrams it's encouraged that he wears longer trousers and a long-sleeved shirt. He should guard his modesty and lower his gaze. If he sees a woman not dressed properly, he shouldn't stare and he should lower his gaze. This is explicitly mentioned in the Quran. How many men actually do that today? If a woman from the west appears in a short skirt and a blouse, they all stand and stare at her and might even throw comments! This is not allowed in Islam. You are obliged to not look at her, and Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) knows very well what you do. Out of respect of yourself and your wife, you mind your own business. This will help you to be pure inside as well.


GENERAL REQUIREMENTS FOR MEN AND WOMEN

There are some points of islamic clothing that is in common for men and women. All people should cover their 'awrah and guard their modesty. It is also sunnah to pay attention to keeping one's clothes clean, without feeling arrogant or exaggerating about that.

"O children of Adam! We have indeed sent down to you clothing to cover your shame, and (clothing) for beauty and clothing that guards (against evil), that is the best. This is of the communications of Allah that they may be mindful." - Quran 7:27

It was stated in a hadith that Prophet Muhammed (sallalhu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: ""No one will ente Paradise in whose heart is a mustard-seed of arrogance." A man said: "What if a man likes his clothes to look nice and his shoes to look nice?" He said: "Allah is Beautiful and loves beauty; arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people." [Muslim, 91]

Another hadith states: "It is haram for women to imitate men and men to imitate women in the way they dress, because the Prophet (sallalhu 'alayhe wa sallam) cursed the men who imitate women and the women who imitate men." [Al-Bukhari, 5546]

It's sunnah for a Muslim to start with the right when dressing, and to say, bismillah, and to start with the left when taking clothes off.

It's mustahabb to wear white clothes. Ibn 'Abbas said that Prophet Muhammed (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "Wear white clothes, for they are the best of your clothes, and shroud you dead in them." [Al-Tirmidhi, 994 & Abu Dawood, 4061 & Ibn Maajah, 1472]

It is also haram to wear clothes out of fame and vanity, garments that the wearer will become known of. Ibn 'Umar said: The Prophet (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said: "Whoever wears a garment of fame and vanity, Allah will dress him in a garment like it on the Day of Resurrection." [Abu Dawood, 4029 & Ibn Majaah, 3606/3607]


DRESS CODE FOR WOMEN

Many of the Muslim women don't dress properly either, although by what I've experienced, they are more aware of their dressing.

Women should also not wear tight or transparent clothes, and they should cover all their body except the face and the hands.

"And say to the believing women that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts and do not display their ornaments except what appears thereof, and let them wear their head-coverings over their bosoms, and not display their ornaments except to ..." - Quran 24:31

"O Prophet! Say to your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers that they let down upon them their over-garments; this will be more proper, that they may be known, and thus they will not be given trouble; and Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." - Quran 33:59


We should all try to abide as much as we can by the islamic dress code, and do our best to improve our iman.

My Story Continues Part 3

I had completed the IB and I had decided to travel to Egypt in August. I was going to look for work and have my own flat, but in the beginning I would live with my boyfriend and his family until I found one. My mother was not very happy for my decision to travel to Egypt, but that was what I wanted and I needed to follow my heart. I also hoped Egypt would teach me more about Islam, and I was interested in their culture and language.

In August I went to Egypt. I landed in Cairo and my boyfriend came and met me. We took the bus to Alexandria, where he lives and went to his home. I greeted his family, had a shower and tried to sleep. I was exhausted, I hadn't slept for like 30 hours. The funny thing was that I couldn't even sleep, because everything was new and it was too hot inside.

In the beginning it was very hard for me in Egypt. Egypt is very different from Norway and there was a lot of habits and customs I had to learn about. In the beginning we went out everyday because it was holiday, but eventually the universities and schools started and my boyfriend didn't have so much excess time. He also had things to help his dad with. His siblings (he has a sister on 15 and a brother on 12) was also busy with studies, but I had played and talked a lot with them.

I didn't find any work, so basically I had nothing to do. I was lucky to stay there during Ramadan, to see what they do during this holy month, but it was so hot in Egypt that everyday I thought I would die of thirst. I didn't have hunger, because when I travel I lose my appetite, but I was very thirsty. I saw ho they celebrated eid, and I got to know them very closely.

Since I didn't have anything to do, this made me frustrated and some times aggressive. I continued to do an Italian course online I had begun on in the summer, and I studied more about Islam, but in the long run I felt I had too much time, and that I only wasted my time. Because of this I also had a lot of problems with my boyfriend, but we solved everything with time.

Another thing that annoyed me is that in Egypt nobody cares about time. Nobody respects time, while in Norway time is very important. If someone said to me in Egypt that she would come at 5 pm, then she might show up at 6.30 pm. You never know! However, Egyptian food is very delicious and my boyfriend is a good cook too. His mom is also great, but I didn't learn anything. Actually, I don't know anything about cooking and I hated cleaning. I didn't do anything in the house, and if they related housework to women I was offended, and I always spoke up for women's rights and that men should help at home, and women can work etc. from my secular view.

I was not allowed to go outside alone, and this also frustrated me in the start. Not only didn't I have nothing to do, I couldn't even go out when I wanted because I was alone. In Norway I just went out whenever I wanted, wherever I wanted. Eventually I got used to it, even hearing Arabic! At the end of my stay I could understand sentences if I really listened to what they were saying and I was thinking logically. I was impressed by myself, but I love Arabic. Yeah, and btw we found a flat for me, but the day I was moving there, they changed their minds and said I should come back with them, it's not good to live alone. I was so happy for that.

With time I started to value their care more, and I understood why they live like they live. However, I didn't learn so much new about Islam there, because many people in Egypt call themselves Muslims but they don't really abide by the rules of the religion. They just do what they want, but I had a friend there who tried to teach me a little about Islam. Anyway, Egypt helped me to become a better Muslim, because there I could really be myself as a Muslim and my personality softened even more. I begun to help with tiding the clothes and put on the table and tide the room, to use my time in something sensible. I tried to use my time in good things, and I begun to calm down. I started to listen to my boyfriend more, and not do all the crazy things I had done before. We tried to help each other to become good. Now I really feel like he is my husband already, I married him in my heart, and when he finishes his studies, we will marry for real inshaAllah. I'm lucky to have found someone like him. After 4 months (in December) I went back to Norway.

My boyfriend has obtained a visa and he will come to me in Norway in 9 days. I'm really looking forward to it, and that he will meet my family for the first time. I will show him my country and how we live here, and he will stay three weeks. Next time I go back to Egypt I will try to do some courses and learn more colloquial Arabic, because really I love this Arabic dialect so much.

Now you know my life-story, if you have any questions you are free to comment. Now you've learnt more about me, and I hope you don't judge me for my past, because I know myself that I was bad when I was younger, but now I'm good and I feel that from my inside, and I will be better inshaAllah.

My Story Continues Part 2

Maybe you ask, why did I tell you about my sins when Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) had concealed it? Well, because this is the past, this is from before I became Muslim, I was young and inexperienced, and I tell this to make you see what Islam did to me.

I started to read about religion, not only about Islam, but it was Islam that I knew least about. I had learnt the basics and principles of all religions in school, but I always hated this subject and I never cared. Now I was reading about religion, I couldn't believe myself. I was just looking for a meaning, because suddenly I felt empty inside after all my crying. I only read about the monotheistic religions, because Buddhism and Hinduism made no sense to me. If there was a god, the most logical could only be that it was one god, and not a thousand.

I knew about Christianity from before, since Norway is a Christian country. I tried to learn something more about Judaism, but there was things in it that didn't quite make sense, and I went away from it. Eventually, when I started to compare Christianity and Islam a lot of things with Christianity didn't make sense either. If there is a god, why did he have to send his son to save humankind and cleanse them for their sins? I mean, he is GOD. He can do anything, He doesn't need to send someone to die on the cross for being able to forgive our sins. This simply just limited the power of God, and how can God's power be limited? He created the universe! How can He not forgive a person's sins?

Hence, I eventually only focused in Islam. I had yet not found anything contradictory there, although I was reading it thoroughly and reflecting on what I read. I'm not naïve. I ignored the media, because I know the media is biased, and I knew that I had to look beyond it to find the truth about, not just Islam, but any religion. I read the history of Islam, the principles of Islam, short biographies of Prophet Muhammed (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam), convert stories. Eventually I also read the Norwegian translation of the Quran, because I had read a lot of times that the Quran was written in a special way. Earlier I had tried to read some of the New Testament, but it really didn't interest me. The Quran was something else. It fascinated me, and once I had started reading, it was hard to stop. It really was special, and any question I had could be answered. I didn't know of anything contradictory in there, and I started to believe that there must be something more in this world, there must be a god.

At this time I had move by myself. I lived in another town approximately 1, 5 hour from my parents. I did this because I started the International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme, and they didn't have this in my town. I had my own flat, and I made friends with a girl in my class that lived just two streets down from me. She was also from another town, not too far from my hometown.

It was strange to live alone in the beginning, but I liked it. There was no noise and nobody telling me what to do. If I wanted to go out, I could, and I could go at any time I wanted and return at any time. The feeling of freedom was great. I didn't have so many friends there either, but I had some, and even if they were not considered as best friends, they were definitely not false friends!

In this period I started to feel better and I was continuing reading the Quran in my spare time. I also checked different webpages about Islam and I researched any question I had. What surprised me, was that any question I had about normal daily life matters (like, is music haram? is eating fish haram?) could be answered through looking at sources from the Quran and ahadith. The Quran must really be the word of God. When I finished reading my faith had grown and I felt that Islam must be right and that I wanted to become Muslim. The question was how and when.

I was worried about the changes I needed to do in my life if I became Muslim. I was alone in this town, I didn't know any Muslims there, and I needed to find out everything on my own. I had some of my online friends and eventually my boyfriend as well, but that's all. What I was most worried about was how my family would react. I was afraid to tell them. Someone said to me that if I knew that Islam was right, and I wanted to become Muslim, there was no reason to wait. I should do it now, because nobody knows when their life is over.

In the summer of 2009 I said the shahadah and I converted. I felt so good after it, and I felt I had finally found the meaning I had been looking for. The emptiness inside me was filled. After this I continued to read and learn more about Islam. I saw that prayer was important, but it was very difficult for me to learn it alone. I waited until the winter of 2009 when I went to Egypt, and my friend and my boyfriend taught me how to pray. After that I prayed 5 times everyday.

I wanted to be a good Muslim, and Islam really softened me. I knew all my past sins were forgiven and I had received a new start from Allah (subhana wa ta'ala). I became more aware of how I dressed (I didn't wear hijab yet), but I didn't wear very little clothes or very revealing clothes. I started to deleted all the boys in my contact list, I begun to help my parents more and listen to them more and not being aggressive toward them, I tried to avoid eating pork (which was very difficult because my parents didn't know I was Muslim yet), I tried to listen to Quran and decrease my music and I started to get my feelings back. I started to care about other people and love to help other people. I became more generous, I realised my mistakes from the past. I was not a cold person any more, now I did my best to help others. Hence, I signed up to work in the refugee volunteer services for Red Cross and I also joined the group at school working for a better school environment. I became a completely different person.

I tried to advice people the best way I could and focus in my studies. I got rid of the past, which sometimes hurt me. I was thinking how stupid I was, and how I did that to myself. How I wanted to kill myself? Alhamdullilah Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) made me too weak to commit suicide, then I would've been destined to Hell for eternity. I was grateful to Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) for having guided me and that I got the interest to learn about Islam, and that He gives me the possibility to become a good Muslim.

By time I was thinking that I need to tell my parents about my conversion. I can't hide it forever, and I was stronger in my faith. About 10 months after my conversion I told them. I sent my mother an e-mail and I explained to her everything, why I had converted, how it happened etc. She forwarded it to my father. I can't say they were happy, but they were not angry either. They accepted my decision. I was still afraid to tell my grandparents, especially the parents of my father, because they are Christian and I know my grandmother would not take it easy. She is one of those who looks in the TV and newspaper and thinks that all Muslims are terrorists and all Muslims are oppressors. She confuses religion with tradition and culture. And then you have those extremists.

A couple of months after I had told my parents, in June 2010 I had an interview in VG (the biggest Norwegian paper.) A discussion was going on whether hijab should be forbidden in primary school, and I had commented on a blog about this topic, and then a reporter in VG had seen it and asked if I wanted to make an interview about my conversion and my opinion on hijab. I told him yes, and so I did. The interview was quite successful, but the problem was that my grandparents still didn't know I was Muslim and if they read the newspaper the day after they would be shocked.

Thus, I sent them an SMS. The parents of my mother were a little surprised, but they accepted my choice. However, they said that if I one day regret, they hoped that I could change my mind without trouble. My father's mother, didn't take it very easy. She started to cry and almost hyperventilated, my grandfather couldn't calm her down, so my dad went over. He tried to talk with her, but nothing really seemed to work. She told him things like "This is the worst thing that could have happened in life." She spoke like it wouldn't have been worse if someone had died. My dad was not very happy when he returned home because of the way I had told them. I think, however, that even if I told her in person the same would've happened. I was actually afraid she would've thrown me out of the house.

The day after I went to see her. She didn't look good at all, she had been crying all the time and almost hadn't slept nor eaten. She just looked at me and said: "So now you are Muslim?" I said to her: "Yes." After a couple of minutes' pause she said: "How did that happen?" I told her you can read the e-mail I sent to my parents a couple of months ago, it will explain everything. She read it and gave it to my grandfather. My grandfather is not the same, he is more open-minded and sensible, and he accepted my decision. Just my grandmother always thinks the worst thing.

After some minutes of thinking from her side, she asked me what's wrong with Christianity? I started to explain to her my view, and we begun a discussion. Then she asked me about the bad things she always sees in the TV; Suicide bombers, men who oppress women etc, and I told her that you need to make distinction between religion and culture, and to know the truth about religion you need to read and study it yourself. From this day everything became better again, and now we never speak about my religion again. She has just accepted it, because there is nothing she can do, and she knows I'm stubborn. After the summer I decided to go to Egypt to learn more about how some Muslims live and be with my boyfriend.

Story continues ...

My Life Before And After Islam Part 1

I'm going to write a post about my life now and my life before, as I got a request for doing that. Also, I haven't told you so much about my story, I've been too focused on saying "haram, haram, haram." I know that might be a bit too much and discouraging in the long run, so I'll try to be a bit more varied. However, I have tried, for example by the post about Rabi'a! If you didn't read it, I recommend you to do it.

So, how has my life changed?

Well, when I was younger I had a lot of problems. Already when I started in 1. grade in school, my problems begun. I didn't have many friends and I was bullied. I tried to not care, but deep inside I was hurt and I longed to be accepted. I got a so-so relationship with my fellow pupils, not all of them were that bad, but I didn't have any real friends. When I grew up the same continued, as I was in the same class for 7 years in primary school, but as we grew I could start to call a couple of them my friends. I knew though, that some of them went behind my back and talked bad about me and pretended to be nice. I don't know why all of this, I hadn't done anything bad, and I was a normal pupil like them. I was a shy person and I just tried to focus in my studies. I also used the internet a lot and chat programs, when I was just around 10.

I was too young to know anything about the dangerous things with the internet and the bad people there; how to talk and how to behave. But I needed someone who was willing to talk with me and accept me as I was, so when people said to me asl? I told them the truth, I never lied about my age or my name or anything else. This was really bad, and I remember one time a man suddenly said to me that he wanted to flee with me to Sweden, and that he would come in the night. All of this after I had told him my age and my name and my town (which is a small one), you can't imagine how afraid I was that night, but I didn't tell anyone about it. I had an OK relationship with my parents, but not a relationship where I told them everything in my life and my concerns etc. I was 10, trying to sleep, but only imagining bad things in my head and what I would do if the man showed up. Alhamdullilah he didn't, but I just wanted people to accept me.

At the end of primary school I had a couple of friends but I lost them when we started middle school. I also played handball for 7 years, so some of them I met there as well. The atmosphere was not always nice in our team, not just because of me, there were other people who also had problems with each other, but it wasn't really that bad.

I wanted badly to be accepted and I made friends with someone in the team that wasn't in my school. Nobody in my class really liked them, and when they talked bad about them in school I went to tell them when I saw my friends. This caused bad vibes between my school mates and my friends from my team. I hoped that they would accept me as a better friend, if I helped them in this. I've been back and forth, in periods I felt one of my class and that I had people I could ask for help, other times I felt very alone and that nobody really wanted me. This attitude made me become a very cold person, and I ignored what others said and meant, and I was calm to everything. I never cried, and I was never angry. Everything I left it alone and I minded only my own business. Any comments, I simply didn't care.

This continued in middle school. I had a couple of real friends there, but the people I knew before, some of them threatened me. Some days I was afraid to go to school, but I just walked by some people I had an OK relationship with and I tried to ignore the bad girls. This caused me to increase my cold attitude, and to think that I don't care about anyone, they are just silly and stupid. If they try on anything, I can hurt them more than they can hurt me. I can fight them, if that's what they want. I was aggressive, but only inside. Sometimes I tried to find things to do with my OK friends, but it was always me that was asking, they never asked, so eventually I felt I was just bothering them and I left the responsibility to them. If they wanted to hang out with me, they would let me know.

Because of this, I had a lot of bad thoughts right before, and during middle school. At some points I tried to hack some of my old school mates' accounts in MSN messenger and Hotmail, and I talked with their contacts and made problems between them. First nobody really knew who had made this, but then someone made a rumour that it was me. I just denied it. But they said who else could it be, I was the one who had helped a couple of them to make the account in the first place. I just continued my denial and I said, I'm not bad nor stupid like that. Why would I make that? Are you sure nobody else knows or found out your password?

As most things, this also passed and became forgotten, but deep inside I felt sorrow and I was hurt. I appeared "cold and cool" on the outside, but inside I felt bad. I often thought about suicide. I was not really depressed in that sense, but my thoughts occasionally came to suicide. I wrote it in my diary. Some days I wrote about this, other days I wrote about my future, far from these people and this country, and that I would move to Australia, live alone in a good flat, have a good car and life, and a good carrier. Not care about anyone. This was just an imagination, to try to forget the bad things. Some days I tried to walk on the way where the trains go, and I wished a train would come and drive over me. Other times when I was crying (and then I hadn't been crying for maybe a year), I took the scissor and I held it over my wrist and I just wanted to end everything. But I couldn't.

In this period, my parents also got a new baby. I had a brother that was three years younger than me, but now my parents got a daughter that was thirteen years younger than me. I hated the idea, and I despised the new baby. I didn't support my mom and I spent a lot of time in my room. The baby came one day I was in school. After a couple of days they returned home and I didn't even come to tell them hi. I remained in my room with my bad thoughts. I was sad, and I thought why do they need another daughter. Am i not enough? Are they disappointed by me, so they want to give it another try with my sister? Am I bad? All of this came to my mind and inside I was depressed but outside I was cold. My parents attention came much on the new baby, they didn't ignore me and my brother, but she required the most from my parents in this period. That caused me to go back to the net to find people who would accept me and would give me attention. Because of that I made many bad mistakes. I will not go into it in detail here. But I talked with a lot of men, even some girls, I sent them photos and had my cam etc. You can think for yourself. I talked to people from all different countries.

I was only 13. I was used, but for some time, only those minutes with attention was enough for me to feel that the world sees me and the world cares about me. Eventually I felt bad from what I did, and I started to think about the consequences. What could people do with my pictures? What if someone took pictures when I was on the cam? What if someone I know will find out? Alhamdullilah nobody found out my secret, and still a few people know it today. I stopped the camera, but I still talked with a lot of people. This continued for a couple of years, but eventually I deleted the bad people and remained with the good (read: better) people.

I grew, and I learnt. I had a few friends, and some friends abroad, but never a real best friend or someone I tell everything. I finished the first year of high school and in the summer everything came back to me. I was 16 and I got a breakdown. I cried and cried, and I hadn't been crying for like 2 years. I had kept all my feelings inside to have the attitude that nothing affects me and I don't care about anything. But now i couldn't control myself and I felt so bad. I cried for days without reason. At least I couldn't find any particular reason, but I think the reason was everything that had happened to me over the past years. I was really down, and I talked to some of my online friends about my problem. They advised me to read about religion, because all my life I didn't believe in any god, I hated religions and I thought it was stupid. I just believed in science. But at this point I was desperate, and I thought why not? I rented books from the library and my journey began.

Story continues ...

60 Ways To Keep Your Wife Happy

Bismillah ar-rahman ar-rahim

This is a post to all men with advice how they can keep their wife happy. The points are copied from another page, and you can access it by clicking on the title of the topic. Many men ignore the rights of their wife and ignore her needs, so I hope these points can be a guidance for how you should treat your wife. Your wife is a precious gift, don't take her for granted!

1. Make her feel secure. Allow her to feel the sakeena.

2. Greet her with “As-salaamu-alaikum wa rahmatullah” – this will keep the shaytan out of your home

3. Know your wife is a fragile whistle – take care of this whistle (i.e. treat her in a gentle way)

4. Advise her in privacy and during a loving, romantic and/or peaceful atmosphere

5. Be generous to your wife

6. Give her your space/seat

7. Avoid anger – one way is to keep wudhu at all times, another is to sit down or lie down when angry

8. Looking good, smelling great

9. Don’t be rigid or you maybe broken – be good and be flexible

10. Be a good listener

11. Say Yes to flattery, No to arguments

12. Call your wife with the best of names

13. Give her pleasant surprises

14. Preserve the tongue (i.e. don’t say abusive words since some words take years to wipe out)

15. Accept her shortcomings

16. Show her that you appreciate her

17. Encourage her to keep her kin relationships, especially with her mother and father

18. Pick topics of interest to her during conversations

19. Show that she is a wonderful wife in front of her relatives (and friends)

20. Give her gifts all the time

21. Get rid of the “rust” (routine of life) once in a while

22. Think good of your wife

23. Overlook any small words or actions that you did not like (i.e. don’t save them in your memory)

24. Add a drop of patience every day. Increase this patience during pregnancy and her monthly cycle

25. Expect and respect her jealousy

26. Be humble – know that her success at home is your success

27. Don’t make your friends happy at the cost of your wife’s happiness

28. Help with housework

29. Don’t try to force your wife to love your mother. Help her to respect your mother and father and gradually the love will come

30. Make her feel that she is an ‘ideal’ wife

31. Remember your wife in your du’a

32. Leave the past to Allah (SWT) i.e. don’t dig up past issues

33. Don’t show that you are doing a favour when you do something (e.g. bring food home etc.). Know that Allah (SWT) is the provider and your are only a courier

34. Treat the Shaytan (and not your wife) as your enemy. e.g. when an argument breaks out know that present is you, your wife and shaytan.

35. Feed your wife with your hands – this is a blessing

36. Look at your wife as a “precious pearl” – so protect her from the envy of the shayateen

37. Show her your “pearls” (smiles) – smiling is like giving in charity

38. Deal with the little things/problems immediately before they become big issues

39. Dont’t be hard or harsh-hearted

40. Respect her thinking and thought

41. Help her to dig within herself to find success

42. Respect the boundaries of the intimate relationship

43. Help her take care of your children

44. Give her the gifts of the tongue

45. Sit down and eat meals together with your wife

46. Let her know when you are travelling and the date and time you are coming back (i.e. no surprises)

47. Don’t leave your home to avoid an argument

48. Protect the secrecy and privacy of your home – don’t share it with others

49. Encourage each other in worshiping Allah (SWT) – e.g. prayers, attend lectures, plan to go on hajj or umrah trip together

50. Know her rights and treat them as something that are engraved in your heart and conscious

51. Live with them with kindness – treat your wife with goodness in prosperity and adversity

52. “Send a messenger” before any intimite relationship (i.e. kissing and sweet words)

53. Don’t share your family problems with others (except when seeking genuine islamic advice)

54. Show that you care for her health

55. Know that you have shortcomings and are not always right

56. Share your happiness and sadness with your wife

57. Have mercy on her weakness

58. Be the “comfortable chest” for her and allow her to lean on you

59. Accept her “as-is”

60. Have a good intention (niyaah) for your wife at all the times

The Interesting Islamic Online University

Yesterday I was searching around for free college education, and I came over this page: Islamic Online University. They have diploma courses and you can even take a BA degree! The tuition is free, and you don't pay anything except a small symbolic fee for your exams. This looks like a great opportunity to study anywhere you like at anytime. The BA degree will take 4 years (full time) or 8 years (part time), and you have modules including 'aqeeda, fiqh, hadith, arabic, tafseer etc.

The introduction comes as follows (taken from the official webpage):

From the 1st of April, 2010 the Islamic Online University (IOU) launched the world’s first tuition-free, Bachelor of Arts in Islamic Studies in English completely online. This is seen as a major new step towards helping Muslims across the globe fulfill the Prophet's command to seek knowledge of the religion and correct their understanding of its tenets.

If you want to access the webpage you can click on the title of the post. I'm considering myself to join this university, as I want to learn much more about Islam and I applied to Middle Eastern Studies and Islamic Studies at universities in England and Norway last year, but I declined my offers and went to Egypt. An online university is more convenient, and it's free!

In Norway if you want to take education you need to have loans, and these loans will averagely be around €7000 pr year, that will make €21 000 for a 3 year bachelor, or €28 000 for a 4 year bachelor! I don't really want to have such loans. Also, I don't want to be far from my boyfriend a long time, and when he finishes his studies after two years, we will marry inshaAllah. Third, I don't know what specifically I can work with with such a degree any way, if you study medicine you will be doctor, but if you study Middle Eeastern or Islamic Studies you don't have anything in particular, thus it can't be such a difference if I study this online or if I had gone to the university and spent a lot of money. These studies will benefit me personally any way, and I'm not aiming to have a well-paid job and earn a lot of money. I don't care about money. I mean, I care to that extent that I need money for food and house, but not to have money to buy a lot of things you don't really need. I hate to waste money, so if I marry and I decide to not work (maybe just as a English teacher or so) it's not a problem. I will take care of the domestic work (with some help of course :) and the children, and eventually I will take some courses and maybe involve myself in volunteer work. I love to help others and I will not sit still and waste my time all the day!

What do you think I should do? Should I enroll in the university?

The Story of Rabi'a Al-Adawiyya

Just recently I learnt about this woman, Rabi'a Al-Adawiyya. Her story impressed me and fascinated me, and I was happy to learn about one of the female contributors to Islam. Unfortunately, not many people know about such women, they are not told about nor read about like the male contributors. A female servant of Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) is just as much worth as a male servant. To enlighten more people about this woman, I will tell her story and provide a link for further information.

Rabi'a was the fourth daughter and child in her family, and she was born outside Basra, in what is now called Iraq around year 717 (95-99 A.H.). Her father's name was Isma'il and they were very poor. Her father had made a promise that he would never ask any human being for help, so even when Rabi'a was born he didn't go to ask his neighbour for some oil to light the lamp.

When he was sleeping he dreamt that Prophet Muhammed (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) came to him and said: "Do not be sad. The girl child which has just been born is a queen amongst women who shall be the mediator for seventy thousand of my Community. Tomorrow you must go to 'Isa Zadan, the Governor of Basra. Write this message on a piece of paper which you will take to him: Every night you send upon me a hundred blessings and on Friday night four hundred. Last night was Friday night and you forgot me. To set right your forgetfulness, give this man four hundred dinar, which he has lawfully earned."

After Isma'il woke up he burst into tears, and wrote down what the Prophet (sallalahu 'alayhe wa sallam) had told him in the dream, and went to one of the Governor's chamberlains to present the letter. After the Governor had read the letter, he gave the man 400 dinars and Isma'il went to buy all the necessities for his holy daughter.

Isma'il was working very hard for his family in the desert, and when Rabi'a was just 11 years old he died and left the family in poverty. The mother thought the life in the desert was too hard, and decided to take her daughters to Basra to make a better living. However, in the desert bandits came to them and killed their mother and took the daughters as slaves.

The master of Rabi'a took her to Baghdad and used her in the best way for him to make profits. He made her dance and sing for people, in celebrations and occasions and in any way his customers wanted her. This caused her to live a very low life.

When she was about 36 years old singing in a wedding, she found herself singing in a different way. The songs came from her heart for her Beloved who was her true Love, because now Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) had awakened her.

At this moment she left all the singing and dancing and refused to continue. This caused her master to be angry and started to hit her and abuse her, to make her come back to her singing like before. She had begin praying every night and asked Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) for help. After have being abused for some time, she still refused to go back and at the end her master decided to sell her at the slavery market, because she was not for any use for him any more.

A holy man took Rabi'a to his home and gave her food and clothes. He said he didn't want anything from her, and that she could be free in his house. She thanked him and said: "If you want anything from me for the Face of Allah, He will give you your reward, but if you want anything from me for yourself only, I have nothing to give you. I have everything that I need from my Beloved God and I do not need anything from any human being."

She never married or had any children. She thought Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) was enough for her, and she didn't need any earthly husband. She said: "My peace is in solitude but my Beloved is always with me. Whenever I witness His Beauty He is my prayer niche (mihrab); toward Him is my qibla. Oh Healer of souls, the heart feeds upon its desire and its striving towards Union with You has healed my soul. You are my Joy and my Life to Eternity. You were the Source of my life; from You came my ecstasy. I have separated myself from all created beings, for my hope is for Union with You; for that is the Goal of my searching."

Rabi'a was very spiritual and wise, and she did not have any shaykh to guide her. She received everything directly from Allah (subhana wa ta'ala). Eventually she left Baghdad, and went back to Basra, before she turned her nose to Jerusalem and settled there. She is often referred to as the first true Saint (waliya) of Islam and was praised, because someone said: "When a woman walks in the Way of Allah like a man, she cannot be called a woman." She is accepted as the second spotless Mary.

At the end of her life she bought a small house on the top of the Mountain of Olives, and every day she used to walk down to al-Aqsa Mosque, where she prayed and gave teachings to the people, both men and women, who came to listen to her. After she finished the prayers and teachings, she walked back home again. After her death, her followers built a tomb for her and it still exists near the Christian Church of the Ascension on top of the Mountain of Olives.

When Rabi'a urged to speak, she spoke words that perfectly manifested her belief, faith and love for her Lord. She said: "If I will a thing and my Lord does not will it, I shall be guilty of unbelief." Her faith came from her total surrender to Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) and she didn't desire anything in this material world, only the love of her Lord. She lived in total poverty, but she didn't want to change her condition, because with the love for her Lord she was still rich. She regarded misfortune in the same way as she regarded favours and happiness.

Once Rabi'a was on her way to Mecca. Half-way she saw the Ka'aba coming to meet her and she said: "It is the Lord of the House Whom I need. What have I to do with the House? I need to meet with Him Who said: "Whoso approaches Me by a span's length I will approach him by the length of a cubit." The Ka'aba which I see has no power over me. What does the Ka'aba bring to me?"

The key to Rabi'a's reaching an living in the presence of her Lord was her constant praying, remembrance and asking for forgiveness for all her shortcomings. She was also aware that her remembrance and repentance didn't come from herself but from her Beloved God. She said: "Seeking forgiveness with the tongue is the sin of lying. If I seek repentance of myself, I shall have need of repentance again. Our asking for forgiveness of Allah itself needs forgiveness."

Other famous quotes from Radi'a are:

"Oh Allah, whatsoever You have apportioned to me of worldly things,
Give that to Your enemies,
And what You have apportioned to me in the Hereafter,
Give that to Your Friends,
For You suffice me."

"Oh Allah, if I worship You for fear of Hell,
Burn me in Hell,
And if I worship You in hope of Paradise,
Exclude me from Paradise.
But if I worship You for Your Own sake,
Grudge me not Your everlasting Beauty."

She saw fear and hope like veils to the vision of God Himself. A story is told that a number of Sufis saw her hurrying on her way with water in one hand and a burning torch in the other. When they asked her to explain, she said: "I am going to light a fire in Paradise and to pour water on to Hell, so that both veils may vanish altogether from before the pilgrims and their purpose may be sure ..."

She was once asked if she hated Shaytan. She replied: "My love to Allah has so possessed me that no place remains for loving or hating any save Him."

She also has said: "O my Joy and Desire, my Life and my Friend. If Thou art satisfied with me, then, O Desire of my heart, my happiness is attained."

Rabi'a was a special woman who inspired a lot of people, and she had a good message to convey. She always spoke wise words and people listened to her. She was very devoted to Allah (subhana wa ta'ala.) May we all learn something from her, inshaAllah!